In Bunyoro-Kitara tradition, western Uganda, marriage is a scared ritual. It is highly valued and given a lot of attention. In the past it was a protracted process involving the parents and elders. There were many attached traditions that had to be observed like checking the clan and lineages of the suitors which are very crucial.

Today, a few things have changed due western influence as well as modernity coupled with wide interactions among the  young people.

Currently the man and woman may meet in wider encounters in school or at work and having gone through their own exchanges and agreed to a marriage relationship will seek first of all the parents approval and then go ahead to prepare for various ceremonies preceding the union. In Bunyoro-Kitara Culture, the traditional marriage (introduction) ceremony which involves the parents participation is still ultimate. Today, this is often also followed by a church or mosque wedding.

A lot of people are very familiar with the high school drama competition nostalgia, late nights practicing the popular Runyege Ntogoro traditional dance. The dance of boys vigorously showing off their best moves to pursue a girl, and the girls coyly turning away the offer.

But with a little more effort, in the end, the couple would happily walk away hand in hand. This type of traditional dance may not necessarily dig up the best of your high school memories, but it sure depicts the marriage tradition of the Banyoro people quite vividly.

Just like in most African traditional cultures, marriage carries a great significance to the Banyoro people. A man is not considered complete until he has found a wife. Banyoro have a marriage tradition rich with rituals, beliefs and customs that distinguishes it from other tribes.

The Banyoro/Bakitara contrasts with most of the other African traditions are free and liberal about love matters. It is for instance the only tribe so far where there is no punishment for pre-marital pregnancy. This is and has been the norm even in ancient times. Yudesi Tibasaaga Amooti, a Munyoro lady in her 70s says she got pregnant before she got married with a man who had two wives already.

“I got married to another man as his second wife though my father did not want me to become a third wife,” says Amooti adding that she finally got divorced and went back to her father’s home when she had a misunderstanding with her co-wife.

Banyakitara are known to freely marry across races. The restriction is on marrying clan mates who are believed to be a group of descendants from the same ancestors thus are blood relations.

“It is only the royal clan of the Babito who are allowed to marry from the same clan in an effort to maintain their ‘blue blood lines’,” explains Amooti.

The task of finding a spouse was otherwise a parent’s affair in the ancient Bunyoro-kitara kingdom. The parents either found spouses for their children through antenatal betrothal, kuswera mu matunda where a man whose wife was pregnant offered the unborn child to a close friend.

In this case that child attained the status of wife at an early age and was handed over at around 6years of age to be groomed by her future mother-in-law. The boy to whom she is betrothed is however ignorant of this information.

Those who are not betrothed would begin to prepare for marriage in their puberty with the girls trimming their hair and nails and smear a special ghee on their skin. Personal and family background is considered with special attention being paid to avoid families with chronic or hereditary diseases.

Okuranga obuko (Inspect brother in law)

When a suitable girl is spotted, the groom’s family sends a go-between, kiranga obuko to announce their intentions to her family. On his first visit, accompanied by a few kinsmen dressed in the traditional wear accessorized with beaded walking sticks, kiranga obuko is vague on his intensions only asking for friendship with the family and presenting one large goat and some pots of beer with a promise to visit again.

It is at this event that details of the Introduction Ceremony are agreed upon (Dowery for the Bride, dates of the Introduction, the delegation number, etc).

Meanwhile the girl’s family would try to learn about the boy’s family. Throughout the ordeal however, the girl’s family assumed airs of haughty pride while the groom’s remained humble. When the groom’s family’s request was granted, they knelt down and thanked their host.

Next will be the groom taking over beer over which was a license to discuss the bride price, amarwa gekicwa muhendo. Families usually married from families of the same status. Bride price comprised cows, goats and many pots of beer.

After the girl agreed, proceedings to negotiate bride price would be instigated. Banyoro/Bakitara were/are divided into three groups, the pastoralists and agriculturalists. The bride price paid by any of these two groups would defer ranging from cattle to agricultural tools like hoes.

More significantly during bride price negotiations, only men were allowed to sit in for the ceremony. “In African tradition, women are married they don’t marry. They were therefore not allowed to sit at the front during these negotiations,”

Okweranga ceremony (Introduction)

Cultural Progression of Okwerango (Introduction) in Bunyoro-Kitara

1. People to attend

– Groom,

– Father, heir to father, Clan head, or chosen respected elder(Omugurusi)

– Other blood relatives

– Best Friends

– Katerarume(go between)

– Note: Mother not encouraged to be there, Reasons, Mothers tends to be jealous and emotional and might cause friction their of after the event

2. Chronology of events
3. Groom Family Chooses a go between (Katerarume), usually someone knowledgeable about the cultural aspects
4. Katerarume writes a letter, introducing himself, family, purpose and the proposed date of Kwerange to the bride’s family.
5. Brides family responds back accepting the date or proposing another date
6. Gifs

– Drink – Ekita(tonto, beer, soda)

– Few gifts (Bread, Blue band, Sugar, Bunch of Banana, Salt, soap, Cooking oil, Rice, tealeaves etc). Note; Things to be taken in pair, reason, you have gone single and want to come back in pair.

1. Dress Code

– Kanzu with Coats for men, Kanzu helps in obscuring the private parts (reason it was adopted)

– Mwenagiro/Busuuti for women

– Letter containing gift(Ebahasa y’Omuko) give on arrival

– Letter for Aunt (Ebasahu ya Iseankati Mwana) given to her after consenting to give the girl.

– Letter for thanking those who cooked(Ebahasa ya Mahangiro – Basically for Mother who assumes role of Cooking)

1. Arriving at the Brides/Hosts house

– Katerarume will go into the house and announce arrival, he should come carrying a Stick(Omwigo) referred to as iccumu(spear) which he hands over to Omuko/host, He hands over the omigo/icumu to the hosts i.e indicating that he is no longer the authority in the house. Note: The Stick is handed back to Katerarume after the visit

Purpose of Omwigo/icuuma

– Symbol of Authority

– Self Defense

– Okutera orume(remove due from paths)

Note: Ise Mwana and Katerarume carry a stick and other elderly men

The ones carrying the Omwigo is/are the authority of the team.

– Omuko welcomes Katerarume, and Katerarume hands over an envelope of appreciation

– Katerarume comes back to let groom and his team know that they are now allowed to get into the house.

– Katerarume then leads you in the house

– He introduces you to the family and announces the reason for coming(he narrates,  I struck a deal with Omuko and he know out intent)

Note: Gifts are left in the car

– Katereanrume begins the haggling for Omukaga, basically cows

– After Omukaga is decided, Lunch /food is served to the groom and his guests

– Amahangiro(envelope for thanking food) is handed over to the hosts

– Gifts are then brought from the car to the hosts

– Katerarume request omugurusi(father to girl or elder responsible) to write the demands in writing

– You thank the hosts then depart

3. Notes:

Traditionally, Kweranga is supposed to be before noon.

Omuko(brother in law) does not have to be necessarily the brother to the sister, it can be a cousin, and this helps in strengthening the bond between families

In Bunyoro, no Kneeling, In tooro the host demands kneeling

Greeting in Empaako avoided to avoid mistakes

The groom remains quiet, but Omugurusi has right to discuss

Omahangiro come from Okuhanga(to create) and given to the mother of the house, because she is the one in charge of the house that has created or severed the food,

On the agreed upon Introduction day called ‘Okweranga’ (announcement)”, a delegation (Usually composed of male parents, aunties, brothers and sisters, relatives, in-laws and close friends) from the groom’s family visit the bride’s home with an appointed spokesman (Usually an Elder with a good command of culture and Runyoro Dialect ) to represent them in various negotiations with the Brides family.

The groom’s family is welcomed by their hosts and ushered into the compound by Omuko (a brother, or a close male relation of the bride) from the bride’s family. On arrival, Enkokoyo’muko (A cock for the brother-in-law) is handed over to him, before he agrees to usher them in.

By the time of arrival of the Bride’s delegation, elders from the bride’s side are already seated in anticipation of the visit. Upon greeting the hosts and taking their seats (offered by the hosts’ chosen Elder), the guests are offered traditionally roasted coffee as a symbol of brotherhood establishing friendship between the two clans / families (kunywanisa Enganda).

After settling in, the elder from the groom’s side is asked by the host elder to introduce the purpose of the visit. The visiting elder, after introducing himself in a polite manner, mentions having come on this visit to seek a hand in marriage for his son; the groom (in runyoro that is to say; ‘Twizire Kuzaarwa omuka enu’) literally meaning, we have come to be born into this home. This in Bunyoro-Kitara tradition means that the visiting delegation has found someone of interest in the host family.

After this declaration, there is a prolonged discussion, involving both elders on either side, sometimes attracting argument, all done in a dignified and civilised manner, supporting their discussion with local proverbs, and parables.

After the name of the bride in question is pronounced, the bride’s family might joking deny knowledge of the Bride saying it might be a mistake of identity or a lost delegation. At this point, the groom’s spokesman will not relent on his effort to accept their response but insist that it is the name of the bride. The Mukois delegated the duty to the search for the bride and present her to the visitors for confirmation.

After a group of girls, and or ladies from the host family is brought to greet the visitors. The Muko will return with the bride, in the company of her paternal Aunt (who first interfaces with the groom before the introduction visit (Isenkati wensonga)), her sisters and friends, all dressed in beautiful traditional wears. They are ushered to the audience by traditional music and dances to highlight celebration and jubilation. This erupts much excitement and applause from both the host and guest congregations.

The groom, in company of his Bestman is tasked to identify his bride from among the group, by putting a traditionally made necklace on her (Kugweka Orukwanzi) amidst ululations and celebrations from the groom’s entourage.

The bride after being asked a few confirmatory questions by the host elders on the union, is tasked to put a symbol of identification on the groom (often a decorative flower), and to be welcomed by the community.

At this point, the groom’s side is required to present the gifts brought for the bride’s family (Among these, and depending on different circumstances of the union of the bride and groom by the time of this event are; Ekichwa Mukaaga, Akasiimo K’Omugurusi, Embuzi ya’Nyina Mwaana, Embuzi ya’Nyinenkuru Mwana, Embuzi ya’Isenkati Mwana, Embuzi y’Aboruganda (if the Bride is a Mubiitokati, this is Ente y’Aboruganda (gyeete Kyahenda), Amaarwa g’Aboruganda (local brew) Blanket ya’Isenkuru mwaana, among other gifts as agreed upon and drought by the groom).

Omujaato (Pre Night Marriage party):

This is an Alcohol ritual and an official and public indicator that a girl is being engaged to the suitor.

Omujaato Ceremony happens after the introduction (Kweranga) but before the marriage(Kuswera).
Omujaato is normally done a day before the wedding/marriage.

The parents (father) of the girl is presented with ekita/ekisisi kya marwa(pot of alcohol), he takes a sip of the alcohol to acknowledge its taste and strength, if he does not like it, he marriage will not proceed, otherwise the wedding/marriage proceeds.

One Pumpkin(ekilele) is given to the brother in-law, before the inlaw starts to drink the beer, he looks at the aunt(isenkati) and asks her “Amarwa ngahute” meaning Should i drink the beer ?, it’s a way of making sure the aunt is determined to marry the girl.

Other people around are also offered ebita bya marwa(pots of beer) to join the celebration

Paying the Bride Price (Okujuka)

The bride price was paid on a ceremony called Okujuka. This was a big ceremony organized by the family of the girl. Roasted coffee beans are served as a sign of brotherhood, local beer, and milk is given to nine people from the bridegroom’s side in a house. This is a traditional gesture of welcoming the bridegroom family. Coffee is served in small baskets while milk is served in milk pots in a ritual know as okuterura amata.

Payment of the bride price (Omukaaga) and requires that six items are taken, whether goats, chicken etc but of course these days it can be anything from cows to money, not necessary numbering six and this marked the engagement of the couple, which was symbolized by a string of animal skin, engonge, tied on the wrist of the couple.

In wait for the wedding day, the bride is exempted from chores, smeared with ghee and a type of red soil to make her skin smooth. She is also kept indoors. For the Banyoro, the fatter the woman the better. During this the early times, the bride to be also received a range of presents/gifts, ensagalizi, from her parents and relatives ranging from straw mats, baskets and backcloth.

She took with her a bag of incense made out of dried and smoked papyrus reeds and scented herbs which she put in the bedroom to enhance the smell and arouse the husband.

Giving The Bride Away

Amidst a special send off song, ijoooje, sang by her paternal aunties, abaisenkati, the bride was taken at night. The abaisenkati however arrived earlier in the evening where in a nearby bush (hakasaka) they gave their niece some marriage tips.

The bride’s father lets his daughter sit on his lap four times to officially bid her farewell and bless her marriage. This is called okubukara.

The in-laws then sang engoma nyabahuma, begging to leave. Just when the bride was about to leave the house, amidst the women’s crying for their departing member, one of her male cousins lay in the doorway to prevent her from leaving. The only way to get rid of him was for the in-laws to give him 10 cowry shells. It is this cousin that would then carry her on his back and whenever the entourage stopped to rest, the bride sat on her aunt’s lap.

Welcoming the Bride to her New Home

The first person the bride encountered at her new home was the senior wife in the household or wife of one of the brothers-in-law with a gourd who closed a bark cloth curtain in the doorway as she said, “oginsangiremu, Oliginsigamu (you found me in this house and you shall leave me here)”. The essence was that the new bride should never attempt to chase away another wife.

She then handed the gourd to the bride implying, ‘you are now my co-wife come in and churn’. Inside the house the groom sat on his father and mother’s laps four times respectively. This was okubukuara a sign of welcome and acceptance of the girl.

Sexual Relations ritual (Okucwa amagita)

After paying the bride price, wedding would be arranged. Notably, on wedding day, the groom would go to bed with the bride, to perform a crucial ritual known as okucwa amagita.

On their first night before 3am, a son to one of the groom’s sisters, omwiha, climbed up the wall and crowed like a cock. “Then, the bride’s aunt who was still with them holds the bride’s hands behind her back to make their first sexual encounter easy for the man,” says Amooti. This is called okukuza.

Amooti explains that a virgin brought honor for the girl, her aunt and family. The mat with blood on it was sent back to her mother with a gift of a goat. A non-virgin on the other hand brought disgrace but she remained in the marriage and her husband burnt the mat of their first sexual encounter and sent her mother a sheep for a gift. The mother would normally cry in shame for not having kept her daughter “pure”.

Before the girl’s relatives left, they sounded a warning to the groom and his parents to treat their daughter well, okuteera omusango. It was done by an old man who said;

“this child of mine has come with two names; when she receives a third name, let me know. My child does not visit unnecessarily. She does not visit and spread rumors bringing enmity between homes. She does not stare at passer’s by, she does not abuse people, she does not steal. If she abuses her father in law beat her. If you can’t cope with her, send her back to me.”

After warning the bride to also behave herself, the other relatives left leaving behind her aunt who stayed with the new couple for a few more days.

In the last ceremony, the bride uncovered her head and started doing housework. Then she had officially become a member of her new husband’s family. These elaborate marriage cultures have obviously been weakened by Christianity and modernity, to the extent that the Banyoro of today can hardly tell a uniform marriage culture.

Marriage Types